reasons to hate the patriots

The unbeaten Colts play the unbeaten Patriots today, and I'm torn. On one hand, I'd like to see the Colts spank the Pats  at home. On the other hand, I would absolutely love it if the Pats went undefeated and lost in the playoffs. I think I'll have to root against them out of principle. As a Seattle sports fan, I've always wanted whoever's on top to go down. I haven't liked the Pats since they won the Super Bowl and Tom Brady got all twinky on the cover of SI. And it's not just that I root against winners. The Patriots are particularly aggravating, and here's a veritable link dump of reasons why:

  • Masshole fans. Going to college has revealed they're every bit as annoying and half as intelligent as Yankees fans. Throw in all this success and it's hard not to go Bill Laimbeer on them.
  • Bill Simmons.
  • Randy Moss still has more to atone for; those years in Oakland were straight-up Vince Carter.
  • Bill Belichick seems - seems - like the type of dude who would use illegal video to scout and then bang your wife. Speaking of which...
  • patscheat.jpg
  • "Colts evil": 670,000 google results. "Patriots evil": 1,830,000. ..."Seahawks evil": 316,000.
  • The offensive line never gets any credit, and they should be man enough to eventually let Brady get blindsided. I could suppress some of this angst if Matt Cassel was in the pocket.

    Plus, these cheerbeezys get no love:

    patcheer.jpg 

    No thanks, I'm full. Go Colts.